For a really long time, I viewed "personal growth" as an excuse to force myself to do things that I didn't actually want to do. The word growth sounds like a great word, but it implies directional change - under the word "grow" is the implication that we will eventually be bigger, better, shinier, worthier. In other words...that we aren't good enough yet.
It's so easy, in the hard moments - grief, pain, confusion, struggle, heartbreak, healing past wounds, facing the unknown - to measure ourselves based on some perceived destination we believe we have to reach.
I've been doing some hard shit this year - around vulnerability, and trust, and personal healing, and artistic expression and professional expression and other...well...hard shit. And it is impossibly, insanely uncomfortable to hang out in that sort of discomfort, simply trusting that it'll work itself out eventually. I can't help but notice how much energy I spend thinking about the places I think I'm supposed to reach, and beating myself up for not being there yet.